Halloween Edition

Halloween is bad. It involves satanic devil worshiping ceremonies in which small rodents have their heads bitten off. So don't go trick-or-treating or you will be forced to eat dead mice heads.
Paul is dead because Yoko sucked out his soul.
And now for horoscopes:
Aries: You're going to die.
Taurus: You're going to die.
Gemini: You're going to die.
Cancer: You're going to die.
Leo: You're going to die.
Virgo: You're going to die.
Libra: You're going to die.
Scorpio: Satan will devour your soul and you will be forced to marry Ozzy Osbourne.
Sagittarius: Your computer sucks. Smash it, and then do a Google search for "Life of Brian".
Capricorn: Keep on truckin' with your high heels on.
Aquarius: Turn on "Num lock" on your keyboard. Because you're going to die.
Pisces: You are going to die because you are a small rodent.
Speaking of Satan, Karl Rove may be facing criminal charges. In response to the impending doom, His Royal Dumbass retreated to his lord, the Prince of Darkness, Cheney, who immediately told his monkey to shut up.
Brian Ray is Hugh Grant and Jon bon Jovi's bastard child. Rock on.
~Prof Loretta Bruce & her beer